I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
Don’t tell them
In New Zealand our drinking age is 18 but the drink driving tolerance for under 20s is zero and my friend who’s a cop said he gets great pleasure out of breathalising sober under 20 year olds and watching the terror fill their face as he tells them they’re 10 times over the legit drinking limit cause ten times zero is still zero
it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and you notice your phrases slowly slipping into their vocabulary
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
I’m a teenager why does my back hurt I’m not 70 years old
why are bras and period products so fucking expensive okay this shit pisses me off, it’s not like i asked for boobs or for my vagina to destroy itself every month
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